Saturday, 1 April 2017

A tongue-in-cheek way to deal with serious social misfits

By social misfits I mean the whole gamut, ranging from murderers, fanatics, pedophiles, robbers, con artists, the criminally insane, those with aggressive disorders, public menaces and repeat criminal offenders.
     The first thing I would do is set a date to clear the prisons of inmates. I regard these establishments as a waste of time, money and space. Many of them are run as hotels, equipped with gymnasiums, libraries, recreation areas, TV sets and games’ rooms, with inmates let out during the day. Some who are released re-offend to be let back into their version of holiday camps.
     The second thing I would do is treat the misfits with one-off drugs, tailored to counteract their misbehavioral problems. If that means them becoming odorless cabbages so be it, as long as they become incapable of repeat-offending in their category. What do I mean by category? Well, at one end of the scale you have the most serious of derangements, like that suffered by Ian Brady; at the other you have aging lotharios like Paul Gadd, aka Gary Glitter. Officially, the worst would be classified as Irredeemable, at the other end would be all the PPIs (Pointless Putting Inside).
     If in rare cases the drugs proved to be ineffective, I would add additional measures such as surgical lobotomies of key areas of the cortexes of the brain: we seem to be getting good at identifying them. The serious villains would need some sort of protection from vengeful relatives of victims, but fear can be a good feeling to possess, like birching used to be on the Isle of Man, but I digress.
There you have it. No more prisons; an alternative way to deal with offenders.